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| The Human |
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| The Hybrid |
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| The Alien |
So clearly, it's only natural that I fit right in.
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| The Lion |
The past few weeks all of us have been experiencing something strange; like a spiritual awakening and the dissolve of the ego. And over the past week it's been growing exponentially. So much so that over the past few days each of us has broken down to the point of hysterical sobbing, not really sure where the tears are coming from. Two days ago it happened to me. I was sitting in the backyard and I just started to sob. And as if on cue, Maria came and sat with me, just being there.
Maria: "Can I see your laptop?"
Me (sobbing): "Sure."
Maria puts on "No Woman No Cry" and I start sobbing even louder. I was purging everything- attachments, programming, all the lies I've been told that I believed, and the realization that I have to let go. Let go of everything and just love even if it hurts, even if it's uncomfortable.
I don't even need to say anything. She understands. Her soul understands my soul. And then Miles comes outside. I instantly feel his soul join ours.
Miles (smiling): "Well, I guess it your turn."
Just the day before, Miles had his moment of purging and release. So he got it. Completely.
Miles then proceeds to shoot some basketball hoops. And I proceed to sob with full support from my soul mates.
All of a sudden Austin runs out with a ukelele in hand yelling,
"Yelena! I wrote a song for you! Wanna hear it?"
Me: "Hell yes."
Austin then proceeds to play me a horrible sounding melody with words that make absolutely no sense. But it was the best gift I received that day. And my hysterical sobs turned into hysterical sobs accompanied by hysterical laughter. Then we all just started laughing. The full belly, tears in eyes, can't stop kind of laughter.
Me: "What is happening you guys?"
Maria: "We're all just going crazy."
Miles: "No, we're all just going sane."
Austin: "I love you guys."
Soul mates. Unconditional Love. Full Understanding. Limitless Respect. I have never experiencing anything like this in my life. I've gotten tastes and glimpses of it. But this? Never. It renews my trust in the Universe and, as hard and uncomfortable as things are right now, I know that it's just the dissolve of the ego and the path towards truth. Towards love.
We went on a hike yesterday with a man that came into our lives at the most perfect moment; Universally created. And he connected us on a level that cannot, and will not, dissolve in this lifetime or any lifetimes to come. He led us through a powerful ceremony of creation, connection, and love. As we lay there, in the medicine wheel, with our heads touching I felt their hearts and their souls. And I know, all four of us know, that we have a safe place to reunite and connect on the ethereal plane regardless of where the Universe leads us. Whether we are together or separate, we are forever connected.
And, at that moment in time, we became ourselves. Our true selves. The equivalent of 4-year-olds.
Miles: "So, Austin and I saw a bunch of dragons the other night on our way to Springdale."
Me: "Seriously?"
Austin: "Yea."
Me: "No way! I don't believe you."
Miles: "Do you believe in dragons?"
Me: "Yea."
Austin: "It was the kind of dragons that you see in Harry Potter."
Maria: "How many were there?"
Austin: "Like a whole bunch."
Me: "I'm jealous."
Miles: "You should be. It was awesome."
Me: "Damn it. I wish I was there."
Maria: "Me too."
With us, there is no judgement. There is pure understanding. Bailing on plans, changing minds, being in a funk, going through emotional roller-coasters are respected with love and compassion. Anger is seen as a personal problem, as is tension. Communication is wide open. Love is everywhere. Blame doesn't exist. We are soul beings having a human experience.
And luckily, we are having this experience together. Even when there is physical separation, life taking us separate ways to learn our lessons, to follow our paths, our souls are always together, connected through time and space. And that is my truth. Our truth. How lucky am I?
The luckiest. But as with all things- the time will come where we'll have to let go of seeing each other everyday, of daily hugs and constant adventures. For me, this moon cycle is all about letting go. Letting go of ideas, expectations, attachments, programs, and ego. And as I enter this cycle, the following words vibrate in my heart so I can remember; so I can connect.
To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.
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