Metamorphosing Butterfly: That One Time I Lost Everything (Part 1)

I've never been a "birthday party" kind of gal. I'm more of a "birthday adventure" and "I'm gonna buy myself some really cool shit" kind of gal. And as I approach the official status of late twenties (27!), I can't help but reminisce on years past. And while every year was memorable, 24 is one for the books. On my 24th birthday, I lost everything that society would deem valuable. And I mean EVERYTHING. But let's start from the beginning....

I had just moved to southern Utah after nearly a year of car living and was itching for an adventure. I was living with a crazy bunch of fools half of the time and the other half was spent with teenagers in the wilderness.

Welcome to my office!

And because that wasn't enough of an adventure, I suggested that our next week off (we worked week on/ week off) we hit the road and shake things up a bit. It was, after all, my birthday week.

Why not?

So after a week in the wilderness, we grab a beer (working with teenagers is hard y'all!), throw our packs into the trunk, find some clean clothes that we didn't put on, and load our filthy bodies into the car. Because what's a few more hours without a shower when you've already gone a week in the wilderness wearing the same clothes?

Our destination: Yosemite. But because it's already 9pm and we're pretty exhausted, we decide to make a pit stop in my least favorite place in the entire Universe. It's got cheap hotel rooms and we desperately need to shower. So Vegas it is, baby!

After quick showers and window ledge dancing, we hit the streets.

And then we walked into a casino. I mean, c'mon. It's Vegas.

And while everyone was doing this:

I was nowhere to be found. I had met a force to be reckoned with and was seduced by the thrill. It was exciting and full of promises. The connection was too strong to deny and I couldn't resist. Ladies and gentlemen, I met Black Jack. And my night looked a little something like this....

That's me in the brown jacket. If you look carefully you will see my hand protectively resting on my stack of chips.

In fact, at one point, Miles approached me...

Miles: "Umm, Yelena? Don't you think you should get a little sleep before we hit the road?"

Me: "Oh yea, don't worry. I'm just gonna play a little longer. But you should go to sleep and I'll be up in a bit."

Miles: "I did go to sleep. Now I'm awake because it's morning. I want pancakes."

It was 7 a.m. I had played blackjack all night. Not only that but I lost all my money. ALL. OF. IT. I went to the ATM to get more and there was nothing left. NOTHING. I gambled all my money away. It was the dealer that finally told me to go eat pancakes with my friends. While eating pancakes, Miles decides that he's gonna give blackjack a try. He comes back having doubled his money. I tell him to go do it again.

"Okay."

He comes back having doubled his money again. I tell him to go back.

"You know, I'm gonna keep what I've got. I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead."

Why couldn't I do that?! Oh yea, because gambling and I have a toxic, addictive relationship. Don't worry, I only gambled all my money away one other time. I don't need a third time to know that I will never be gambling again. EVER.

Miles paid for the pancakes. I cried. Then we hit the road.